I’ve been doing fine without you…

Living life, growing and I’ve been getting by without you…

My days were going swell without you, there was no hell without you,

But you had to call and make this fucking day about you.

So typical of you to make everything about you!

 

From my womb I created life

Yet your cold, dead heart has only reciprocated strife.

Always presenting an excuse

Meanwhile you expect me to enable you and accept your abuse

 

I find it crazy that you expect me accept your inconsistency and disrespect…

When consistently you’ve neglected the tears our son has wept…

Empty promises…

Made restless days where he hoped you would call and check

They were complimented by nights where he lay awake with questions… while you fucking slept.

Due to your absence, I overcompensate, in an attempt to protect

His precious heart, which over the years I repaired, after catching the pieces…

Call me his safety net.

I thought he was all patched up… but here you are again,

And as he reaches out for you, silently yearning for you… you walk away faster… taking quicker steps.

And just like that… as quick as you came, even faster you left

 

You easily walk away from our boy…

That child is my passion

How dare you be so passive

How can you not see that you bring him joy?

 

I hate this untenitional bed that I made with you…

I love my son, but I hate the dark game I played with you.

I hated myself the day I laid with you

But now I am stuck…

Who would’ve thought that quick nut would have made something so beautiful..

I guess that’s just my luck

 

I know the days to come will not always be easy, I will be the rock you couldn’t be when days get rough.

When he is down, I will urge him to express his pain…and though he is a soldier, I will give him the safe place to not be so tough

I’ll spend my life teaching our son that he is not to blame… I will make sure that he knows that he is always enough.

He won’t be like you… my son will grow into a man who loves…