Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… that’s what they always told me… but I never knew who beheld my beauty… They never showed me… I used to hop from bed to bed hoping a guy would give me the answer… shit definitely didn’t get better after getting diagnosed with cancer… 

I didn’t feel particularly beautiful before… but when they told me I had to have a mastectomy… I never thought I would feel even pretty again… certainly never thought it would bring out the best of me…I sat there A MESS and stressed and depressed over my “lover” finding a girl who was “normal” and choosing her because of her perfect breast. Those thoughts are now dead… because I am loving me now… and if you ever doubted me… I am coming for your head…

I want the head of anyone who doubts me… and anyone who doesn’t support me… but talks about me… you don’t know who I am if you aren’t truly around me… but I can assure you that I am floating… good luck trying to drown me…

Today I stepped out of my fucking clothes… 

got in front of a camera and posed and that camera showed my heart… it bore my entire soul… I am finally beautiful… only because now I know that it is I who beholds… I feel like with every move I have made lately… makes me more and more whole… I feel different… I get chills watching my life unfold… this is the best I have ever felt.. I don’t think this feeling will ever get fucking old…

This experience was beyond perfect… it was like a mental weight was lifted… I feel phenomenal… I cleaned my thoughts, they were a mess..… I feel like I am floating…I feel better than the best.. I am a hot seductive oil… and I can’t bought.. Or watered down like the rest… I am more than a conqueror, I am MORE, and refused to be treated like less…
Sometimes… you have to ignore the rules… Even more often you have to ignore the fools… just get out there ant do it… if you vision yourself in a place… you should pursue it… Because the only person you are letting down in the end is the person you see in the mirror… I used to hate my reflection… day in and day out I used to perform a deteriorating inspection…

Day in and day out I used to pick my self apart… but lately… I have been spending my days how I should have from the start…

Building me up… and fixing on my little, no longer broken heart…