Fuck you… With Love

I’ve been silent for way too long… I’ve been sitting here letting people do me wrong… beating myself up wondering what I did… when all along all that happened was that I got sick…

All that happened was that I got cancer in my left breast…shit got real… then ironically people started getting shit off THEIR chest… all of a sudden Domonique became selfish… all of a sudden people said Dom didn’t love her kids… all of a sudden bitches said I was a bad friend… I think it was easier to end it then to have a sick friend…

I think bitches got mad because I was dying and still had a man… when i was hairless that man still held my hand… I guess you mad ’cause bitch whats your excuse? Why does my sick ass win and never lose? How was it my dying ass stayed on top of shit? While your healthy ass was over there fucking losing it…. BITCH

Okay okay okay.. that’s enough… because even though its Fuck you… its fuck you with love… because even though you left you weren’t the only one… i guess.. if im fucking honest… maybe I’m just not as fun…..

i mean… if I’m honest I’m writing this through my tears… I’m mean… what did you expect? its been almost 30 years… and now I’m with out my bitch… facing my fears….

alone…

Next I got a word for some of my fucking relatives… no need to say which ones because its irrelevant… just know that they probably reading this getting hella bent… but this is my shit… so I’m going to FUCKING VENT… SHIT…

To whoever gives a fuck… I HAD FUCKING CANCER… I WAS SITTING AT HOME CONFUSED WITH NO FUCKING ANSWERS…. WHY WERE YOU CRITICIZING… SHOULD HAVE BEEN REALIZING… BITCH I WAS FUCKING DYING…. FUCK TELLING ME TO BE SOMEONES WIFE….

sorry for yelling… BUT WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU???

Yes I’m talking to YOU YOU YOU and YOU if you got offended reading this… then tie that shoe up boo… because if you did right by me you know this doesn’t apply to you.. if you did right by me it all love.. take off the Fuck you…..

I know… its hard to believe its true… that the people you would die for wouldn’t breathe for you…. while you’re wilting wouldn’t leave the house on free day for you… you know… but damn fucking sure they would ask you to…. Then have the same nerve to make you HATE BEING YOU…

Damn… you made me hate being me.. got me questioning what this man is seeing in me… made me feel like because i wanted to fuck it was a demon in me… like back in the day you made me regret getting that semen in me…

But that’s for another day…. people judge you like they never did the same… like they didn’t use to be that bitch from around the way… or that nigga selling a pound a day..

I need to stop.. before i say too much… only to protect whats mine… not because I give a fuck…

but… ummm….

I guess If I had to pass on a few lessons… to anyone it would be to count your damn blessings.. It would be to live your fucking life care free…  stop stressing…. do what you want baby… make sure keep them guessing

pick up your jaw… bitch I’m done now… runway walking out this bitch… yea… now watch me take a bow…

22 thoughts on “Fuck you… With Love”

  1. 1Wise-Woman says:
    Reply

    I get this feeling, sad but true. My illness can’t be compared to cancer, but apparently people are also afraid of Rheumatoid Arthritis. I’m sorry you had to experience the loss of friends too… it’s enough to be sick, but to lose the people you thought were true is beyond my understanding. I’ll never get it…. thankful for the ones that stick around for the good and bad. And to the ones that left, well you said it well!

    Like

    • BoldBeat&NipLESS says:
      Reply

      Lol! Thank you!!! And it’s so sad… it hurts soooo bad. It doesn’t ask it doesn’t give reasons. Thank you for sharing! Feels good to know someone gets it!

      Liked by 1 person

      • 1Wise-Woman says:

        I know… it’s the worst feeling. I definitely understand how you feel and have written quite a few posts about it. I don’t know how to get over it! And you’re right, if I at least knew the reason maybe I could come to terms with it. I try to see the good in it, at least I know who they are now and I don’t want those kind of people in my life, still hurts. The people that I am the closest with now are also ones that are experiencing health issues, they get it, they understand what real friendship is. ❤

        Like

  2. @vapor_sage says:
    Reply

    Eye-opening to see how fear of death and the big C can wreck how people respond. Hence You can say it with love cause you’ve been through it and can be there fearlessly for others.

    Like

  3. Aurora Phoenix says:
    Reply

    I applaud your courage. Loss is so hard. So confusing to try to figure out how “friends” don’t stick around when you’re down. I didn’t have cancer, but had that same experience with being incarcerated.

    Like

  5. braveandrecklessblog says:
    Reply

    People sometimes act like illness, like mortality is catchy. Like its a flu they don’t want to catch and you are patient 0. And then there is the self-righteous blame they load on to reassure themselves that what’s happening to you won’t happen to them because they are “different.”

    Like

    • BoldBeat&NipLESS says:
      Reply

      Ooooooh yes! You said it 100% correct. I need to write today. Last night was dark… but inspiring. I don’t know how to put in into words

      Like

  6. Malicia Frost says:
    Reply

    Oh my god, I am speechless. Sorry it took me so long to check out your blog, but I do remember your kind comment. You are fierce, girl. The bravery it takes not only to go trough all of this but to write this fearlessly about it. You are all the things I love about contemporary poetry and literature. Thank you. And also thank you for following my blog, I am very honored. Blowing good wishes your way all the way up from northern Europe.

    Like

Leave a reply to BoldBeat&NipLESS Cancel reply